Michael B. Duff

Mean but brilliant. Contains some harsh language. I eagerly await a Bush version.

I love this headline. No matter what happens tomorrow the Republicans will spin it as a huge victory and the Dems will spin it as "not as bad as everybody thought." That line is so predictable the stories have already been written. But if there's one thing I've learned about elections, it's don't fight the polls. These things have become remarkably accurate. So we can expect the usual few surprises, blown way out of proportion by pundits, but I'm confident the polls are right about the general trend.

"Well done Apple – you've made me decide I need to use a proper alarm clock rather than relying on my iPhone," one user tweeted.

Apparently there's a gene that makes you 40% more likely to be liberal. So the best way for Republicans to "take their country back" is to have babies, so a new voting majority can be born without souls…

Evans Wadongo, 23, invented a way for rural families in Kenya to replace smoky kerosene and firelight with solar power. Through his Use Solar, Save Lives program, he has distributed an estimated 10,000 solar lanterns for free.