Michael B. Duff

Lubbock's answer to a question no one asked

They call this customer service?

CONCERNED CITIZEN: “Yes, officer, thank you for coming down. I need to report something strange I saw outside the Avalanche-Journal offices this morning.

“A man with a beard and a cane came outside and started talking on his phone. He looked really agitated, frowning and pacing around. He seemed to get madder and madder as the call went on. At first I couldn’t hear him but then he got louder and I realized he was shouting ‘Pay my bill!’ over and over.

“It started soft and got louder. ‘Pay my bill. No. Pay my bill! Pay. My. Bill. PAY MY BILL! I JUST WANT TO PAY MY FREAKING BILL!!!’

“Then he shouted his social security number and threw his phone against the wall. His hair was messed up and his clothes looked cheap. I think he might be homeless.”

OFFICER: “No Ma’am, that’s just Duff. He does this every month.”

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Written by Michael B. Duff

October 24, 2008 at 11:18

Posted in Humor

One Response

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  1. I far prefer “Press 1 for ___” to “Hi, what were you calling about today?”

    Scott K

    October 24, 2008 at 12:51


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