Michael B. Duff

CBS news writers have authorized a nationwide strike, and once again, the execs aren't worried. They say they've got plenty of nonunion writers who can pick up the slack.

And in the news today, President Bush said a lot of boring stuff and some guy in Russia wigged out at a cabinet meeting. Back to you, Velveeta.

And then, like an hour ago, this criminal dude was all like, “I'm escaping with teh cash!”

And the cops were all like, “Nuh huh.”

And the dude was all like, “Yeah, huh.”

And his car was all like VROOM!

Then the cops were all, “We put down spikes on the road!” and the criminal dude got all crashed.

Then a van came and the driver got even more dead than the first guy.