Michael B. Duff

The funniest writing on the web is in the Nick Denton gossip rag “Gawker“. But it's not in the posts. It's in the comments, where the finest unemployed writers in New York go to insult people who have jobs.

I tried to join the Denton empire in 2004, but I wasn't quite funny enough (or cheap enough) to make the cut. Bad enough that I didn't make the varsity snark team, but these days I'm not even funny enough to be a commenter.

Which is probably how I ended up here. (Hi, Mom!)

Anyway, the comments rock. There's something wicked and satisfying about them. Like watching a clown cry.

Here's the best one today, from a story about “suicide tourists” — people who fly to New York so they can jump off tall buildings.

BY TIMESSQUARED AT 12:51 PM

It's that they came to NY believing the Hollywood version of a bohemian paradise, but when they saw it filled with neo-victorians, their little brats and baby carriages, and snotty NYU students yapping on cell phones in the accents of their own hick towns, who can blame them for suddenly realizing that there is no god.

Others, of course, just stepped onto the window ledge – the only place they were allowed to smoke a cigarette – and simply fell.

If Gawker was a woman, I'd pay her 20 bucks to punch me in the neck. Don't have 20 bucks? Now you can get the same experience for $15.61