Michael B. Duff

Lubbock's answer to a question no one asked

Paris Hilton's new outfit

So, what should we talk about today? Deep-linked essays about foreign policy and unrest in the Middle East? Lucid commentary about the Democratic presidential debate? The latest/greatest toy from Microsoft? Our slow, certain demise from global warming?

Nice try. There's only one thing that matters on the Internet right now, and it ain't just a city in France. Paris Hilton is going to jail.

Not since Martha Stewart put up a pair of designer curtains in a West Virginia prison cell has a celebrity incarceration been so newsworthy, or so throughly enjoyed.

The gang at Defamer is positively gleeful; Sarah Silverman is taking cheap shots; Paris's mug shot is #6 on Google Trends; and TMZ has the video.

And if you think all this is too trivial, remember, choosey terrorists choose Google! When it absolutely, positively has to blow up overnight.

Written by Michael B. Duff

June 4, 2007 at 13:54

Posted in Gossip

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