Michael B. Duff

Lubbock's answer to a question no one asked

Pros and Cons of the 2007 presidential candidates

My editor's been trying to squeeze a blog out of me all week and all I've got is this joke from McSweeney's.

From John Moe's article, PROS AND CONS OF THE TOP 20 DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES:

#7. OPTIMUS PRIME

Pro: Size; power; ability to emit short-range optic blasts.

Con: Potential attack ad: “Sometimes Optimus Prime is a robot, other times a truck. Which is it, Mr. Prime? America deserves a leader that doesn't transform whenever it's convenient.”

Don't like that one?

How about:

#14. AL GORE

Pro: Knows how to get to the White House, where to park, location of restrooms.

Con: Wants to accomplish something meaningful.

And in the interests of equal time:

PROS AND CONS OF THE TOP 20 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES:

#9. EDDIE VAN HALEN

Pro: I tell you what, he would bring the nations of the world together through ROCK! He'd be all deedly-deedly-deedly-DEE-DEE-DEE! on his guitar and the bosses of the other countries would be all, “Whoa! Let's stop fighting and start rocking!”

Con: Drunken wretched mess.

The essence of blogging here. Not feeling funny? Link to someone who is. Hats off to John Moe for helping me endure my afternoon.

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Written by Michael B. Duff

May 2, 2007 at 16:39

Posted in Politics

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